Tommy Flanagan was born on the 6th of June 1909 in Bridlington, Humberside, and was the only child of Barbara and Frank Flanagan who worked as a basket weaver and a welder respectively. In 1918 Tommy became the first boy to do a headstand in the whole of Humberside and he was chased from the town with sticks and one knife. He stayed at various locations around the country, residing in attics or basements of theatres where he would perform his headstand routine for nuts or a bowl of porridge (the bowl of porridge would depend on the theatre, obviously).
In 1927, at the age of 18, Tommy travelled to Biggleswade to go to the much celebrated Biggleswade University to study the history of cats in Burma. It was here that he would meet Stevie Tucker who was studying the ocelot bodily functions.
Biggleswade University closed in 1938 due to a family of Tigers setting up home in the kitchen.
Stevie Tucker was born on the 9th of January 1909 in Strood, Kent to Samuel and Margaret Tucker. He was the 9th of 118 children of which he was the only boy. Samuel and Margaret were professional baby producers, a profession which was made illegal in the early 30's. He was disowned by his parents because he was stupid at the age of 5. He grew up a confused child who didn't speak until he was 17, he spent most of his childhood dancing around the country. He didn't eat for three years between 1918 and 1921 but his love of dancing kept him happy and warm. In 1927 he danced into a ditch and found himself in Biggleswade where he enrolled at the University. He passed the entrance exam with flying colours - it turned out that he had and IQ of 4008 and he was in fact the cleverest man who ever lived. It was at the University that he met his one and only friend Tommy Flanagan.
It was in their second year that they started writing together and much of their early work appeared in the now defunct satirical paper, "The Squirrel" from which they made a satisfying profit.
Then in 1931 they started to perform their work on stage and for the first few months of their career their shows were a great success and loved by the critics, but this was short-lived. With heavy debts mounting, they landed a lucrative advertising deal with Potters Bile Pills in August of the same year. The next day the duos “Dr Potter Healed My Liver!” posters were pasted on trams around London’s East End.
In December a drunk Stevie got into a fight with a shopkeeper over the rustiness of a penny that was given to him in change. Stevie was beaten up badly by the shopkeeper who reported him. Stevie was fined fifty nine pounds, twelve shillings and thruppence
Writing in 1946, in a small government pamphlet entitled “Comedy after the war : Good times after Bad”, Heinrich Pimmler, one of the most unfortunately named Glasweigan dockworkers in the East End of London, recalled an early experience of their demise : “Flanagan and Tucker had developed these two characters, who were poor, penniless, and riddled with infection. This pastiche did not go down well with their audience, who, even in 1931, at the height of their career, were now composed of poor, penniless people who were riddled with infection.” A fragment of a script written at this time exists in the National Comedy Archive, Wells.
F: I've got water T: I've got ice F: You've got scabies T: Also lice
The two were booed off stage, scratching. Work was down for a couple of weeks. However, the fight left Stevie with a badly bruised face and two black eyes and it was from this they gained inspired to write their most remembered work "I've got Big eyes", initially penned as an insult song when Stevie used Tommy's ear cream without asking. With this work alone they achieved brief world wide fame. Ultimately Stevie’s bruises healed and his eyes returned to normal size and the act fell apart. They tried to milk their successful format by changing the 'eyes' to ‘feet’ but it didn't work and they were chased from the country by angry, disappointed and let down fans.
They moved to Dardilly in France in 1931 and lived anonymously for 63 years. No one knows what they did in those years.
In 1995 they moved back to Biggleswade in pursuit of an errant Aunt. Tucker became a postman and Flanagan a shepherd. They still make a living from these occupations today. They are not recognised. Ever.
Anon.