Sean Collins is, like most people his age, 26 years
old. Hailing from the Irish town of Dulbin, he has
been performing stand up for just over two years.
Do you ever regret going into comedy?
Not a day goes by when I don't wish I had a normal
job, when I could get up at seven, weara suit and sit
behind a desk for eight hours doing something that
doesn't interest me in the slightest. Actually, I
trained in the Gardai (Irish police force) for three
years, but left just before graduation because I
didn't want to do it anymore. So, no.
What makes you want to make people laugh?
It's the best way to stop them from hitting me.
Is there a routine by anyone else that you wish you'd written?
I was working on an idea of a sit com based in a police
station, but then Ben Elton beat me to it, the
bastard, Not that I wish I'd written that, obviously,
I'd like to be able to take credit for Blackadder
though.
Have you ever nicked anyone else's material?
I wouldn't dare, I'd have to arrest myself.
Who makes you laugh and who are your heroes?
My Dad makes me laugh a lot, he's got a wicked sense
of humour. My heroes are Cannon & Ball, Hale & Pace,
Barrymore, Davidson, Phil Collins (no relation) and
Noel Edmonds. In that order.
Have you ever said or done anything on stage that you really regretted?
I used to do a routine about my now ex-girlfriend.
None of it was strictly true, but more of an
exaggeration of something that happened. Anyway, one
night she brought a few friends to one of my gigs, and
when I went in to this routine - that she had never
heard before - I couldn't help but notice that her
table had gone particularly quiet. So looking back on
that, I think maybe I should have used my
cats-and-dogs stuff instead.
What is your favourite routine / joke that you do?
I've just written some stuff about moving house which
I really like, and seems to be working well.
Generally, anything new because it's not so boring for
me.
. Is there anything that you've done that you thought was really funny but no-one laughed?
Last year's Edinburgh show.
Is there anything that you wouldn't joke about?
Last year's Edinburgh show.
Are you happy with the way your career is heading and where would you like it to go?
I'd like it to go somewhere sunny for a few months, so
I stop looking quite so pale. And a guest spot on
SMTV would be fantastic.
Any big ambitions for the future?
To meet Ant and Dec.
What is the drunkest you've ever been?
At my brother's 18th birthday party - I was 12, and I
helped myself to a lot of vodka disguised as coke. I
was incredibly sick in front of my Granny. My Mum
didn't speak to me for a week.
Have you ever loved somebody so much it made you cry?
No.
Blanket or Stuffed Animal?
Stuffed blanket.
Dumper or Dumpee?
Dumper. Always best to get in there first.
What do you do most often when you are bored?
Turn the telly on and slag off whatever rubbish
they're showing.
What words or phrases do you overuse?
I curse way too much. It's a burden that you have to
carry when you're Irish. Although, in light of my
SMTV ambitions, I am trying to cut down.
What is your most philosophical thought?
If you don't have anything nice to say about someone -
why hold back?
Many thanks to Sean for participating in our survery. But of course not too much, as he is only a fictional character.
